http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blog.php magic tricks, card tricks, magic kits, magic shop, magic store, magic supplies, magic books, street magic en Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:51:03 GMT vBulletin 5 http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/graphite/misc/rss.jpg http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blog.php http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/kipp-sherry/11-we-have-turned-outside.html Sun, 03 Aug 2008 19:07:38 GMT WE HAVE TURNED OUTSIDE-IN

Our perceptions have been turned outside in!

People say "What's in it for me?", "It's all about me!", or "What about me?". Me, me, me. That is what's wrong with relationships today.

I'll first give a complicated example: MARRIAGE

So many marriages end in divorce, and those that do have a common theme. One or both of the spouses feel that the other is not living up to their expectations. You see it listed as the reason for divorces all the time. "My spouse doesn't meet my expectations in fill in the blank (sexual satisfaction, earning money, social statis, personal attention, helping around the house, ect.).

I have an expectation of you and you do not meet that expectation, therefore I am dissatisfied even to the point of being miserable. I have made everything about me. I have taken outside influences and turned them inward. It is no longer about you, it is about me. I have turned things outside in. But since "It's not my fault" (another great defense in the world today) it must be your fault that I feel this way, not my fault.

If your view were to EXPECT NOTHING from your spouse, then it would be impossible for them to perform below your expectations. There would be nothing to be dissatisfied with. Now when I feel dissatisfied, I can no longer blame you. I have to look inside myself.

If your view further were to be "What can I give to this marriage?", then you are taking what's inside you and turning it outward. This is "giving". Instead of turning things outside-in, you are turning things inside-out.

Read that over again carefully. This is the shift in perception.

Outside-In
You do not meet my expectations therefore, no matter what you have given, it is not good enough. (Dissatisfied)
Inside-Out
I expect nothing from you, so anything you give me is more than I expected. (Satisfied)

Notice where "I" and "You" are in relationship to satisfaction.

When you practice an Outside-In relationship with your spouse, it changes your whole perception on the marriage. You are no longer in a relationship for what your spouse can do for you, you are in a relationship for what you can do for your spouse. Now when you are dissastified you can no longer blame your spouse, because you were expecting nothing from them. You now find your satisfaction from what you are giving, so you must look inside yourself to find the source of your dissatisfaction.

But what about the "goals" of a relationship? Goals and Expectations are not the same thing. Goals can be reached. Expectations on others are seldom realized. So I'm not saying to lower your goals, you should raise them, keep them high and strive for them. But notice I said "you" should, not your spouse. That's up to them and you should not have an expectation that they will do the same just because you have.

I am also not trying to say that everything your spouse does is to be accepted. There are ethical boundries than can be crossed. These must be considered more deeply. But issues like "you did the laundry, but you did the permanent press, not the whites" should not be a source of dissatisfaction for you any more. Now you will find satisfaction that your spouse did some of the laundry for you. It was the act of them giving that is satisfying. It is no longer dissatifying that they gave something other than what you expected.

I have used the example of a marriage to serve as an example. If you are not or have never been in a marriage then you can apply the same principles to a dating relationship or a friendship. In fact, you can apply it to many other facets of your life including your job, career, charities, or any scenario where you have to deal with other people.

I ramble a lot to make a point, my daughter even tells me so, but someone said it simpler when they said "PAY IT FORWARD".

There is always an exception to the rule. When you choose to practice this method of living (giving) you still will not experience complete satisfaction, but dissatisfaction should be the exception, not the rule.

I will be celebrating 24 years years of marriage with my wife this year. That's way beyond my expecations. My career and the success of my daughter have also exceeded my expectations.

Until we appear again,
Kipp Sherry ]]> Kipp Sherry http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/kipp-sherry/11-we-have-turned-outside.html http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/kipp-sherry/10-cup.html Sun, 03 Aug 2008 19:06:10 GMT THE CUP

We live in a world where everything is placed into a category, and depending on what category you are placed in, assumptions can be made that try to identify you.

Statistics will tell us if we are "average", and if we are then a lot of assumptions are made as to how much money we make, how much we spend, the size of house we live in, the number of kids we have (although I don't have a 0.5 kid), and so many other things that tell us what we should be and what expectations we should have on life.

Here is one I'm sure you've heard: Some look at a cup and say it is half empty while others look at the same cup and say it is half full. If you see the cup as half empty then you are a pessimist. If you see the cup as half full then you are an optimist. The problem I see with this well known saying is that you are only given two choices and based on the choice you make you are grouped into one of two categories.

As a magician I am constantly thinking outside the box, so when I look at the cup, I say "THE CUP IS THE WRONG SIZE". Stay with me a moment and I will explain.

If you have 6 ounces of water and it is in a 12 ounce cup, then it appears that the cup is either half empty or half full. Pour that same 6 ounces of water into a 32 ounce cup, then it appears as if you have to little (I would claim to be ripped off if a restaraunt served me a drink that way). But if I pour that same 6 ounces into a 4 ounce cup, then my cup runneth over.

Now how do categorize me? I don't fit the mold that society has tried to create for me. I have broken the mold. I have changed perception. I have created a new reality that is just as real as the others, but far more complicated and less easy to catergorize.

I don't know for sure if 6 ounces is all I need, but I do know for sure that it is all a matter of perception. With the use of magic, I shake people's perceptions of the world and hope they will see all of their potential. So with that, I encourage you to think outside the cup, and I hope that your cup is running over.

Until we appear again,
Kipp Sherry ]]> Kipp Sherry http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/kipp-sherry/10-cup.html http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/8-new-chat-feature.html Mon, 17 Mar 2008 18:45:34 GMT We've installed a new chat feature for our members. You must have a login/password to access it. The system is integrated into the site, so if you are logged in the forums, you'll already be logged in to the chat program. ]]> admin http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/8-new-chat-feature.html http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/7-new-links-directory.html Sun, 16 Mar 2008 00:56:44 GMT We've installed a new links directory. You are welcome to put up any magic related links. Yes, you can even add your own if you like. All of them are subject to moderation by our staff.

http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/links/ ]]> admin http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/7-new-links-directory.html http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/6-server-updates-multiple-emails.html Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:45:37 GMT We are working on the server this week, upgrading, cleaning, kicking the rats and roaches out. As we do so, there may be a few glitches here and there. So we wanted everyone to know now. Looks like we already had our email server send out duplicates and more. Sorry about that folks! We are working on the server this week, upgrading, cleaning, kicking the rats and roaches out. As we do so, there may be a few glitches here and there. So we wanted everyone to know now. Looks like we already had our email server send out duplicates and more. Sorry about that folks! ]]> admin http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/6-server-updates-multiple-emails.html http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/5-street-magic-magazine-update.html Thu, 13 Mar 2008 02:29:01 GMT As many of you know, we had a catastrophic data loss due to a hard drive failure that even corrupted backups. The total loss was around six months of data, including many of the elements that had been developed for the magazine over all, including the most recent issue.

Of course, we are not about to let something like that keep us down for long; we have a history of beating the odds and succeeding when people thought we wouldn't (or shouldn't for that matter).

After some thought and deliberation among our board members and staff, we decided to use this unfortunate set of events to restructure and revitalize the magazine in new and exciting ways. And to be honest, it also gives us a small and very temporary reprieve from the 200 hour work week, dropping it down to a paltry 100 hours. If only life could stay like that!

So stay tuned our magic monkeys, we have something very exciting in store for you soon. When we come back, we are coming back in a way you'd never have expected. ]]> admin http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/5-street-magic-magazine-update.html http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/4-stathi-zaf-project.html Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:18:12 GMT Underground magician extraordinaire Stathi Zaf arrives on the scene with hard hitting effects that leave his audience screaming, "I don't believe it! I don't believe it! I don't believe it!"

Want to have reactions like this? Stay tuned for a series of DVDs that will give you tools, effects, and techniques to grab your audience, shake them around, and slam them back down again.

Filmed on location in Las Vegas and in the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia, this is magic at it's best; creative, hard hitting, original, and fresh.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSGoVhFPaJA


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5zQh9okyA0

]]> admin http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/4-stathi-zaf-project.html http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/kipp-sherry/3-test-blog.html Mon, 03 Mar 2008 00:51:23 GMT Blah Blog Blah Blog Blah Blog Blah. Now I can say that I have actually blogged. Until we appear again, Kipp Sherry Blah Blog Blah Blog Blah Blog Blah.
Now I can say that I have actually blogged.

Until we appear again,
Kipp Sherry ]]> Kipp Sherry http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/kipp-sherry/3-test-blog.html http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/kaje/2-photography.html Thu, 28 Feb 2008 21:35:08 GMT ...so I'll post up some mysterious images that I took while wandering through a necropolis in Glasgow...





Hope you like. ]]> KaJe http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/kaje/2-photography.html http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/1-yoda-card-force.html Thu, 28 Feb 2008 08:16:39 GMT Chris was in our studio working on some demo footage for our new Black's CTW Wallet and started beat boxing. So we kept the cameras rolling and then cut the video for posting to the site.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cugaTzIRgH8 ]]> admin http://www.blacksmagicgroup.com/forum/blogs/admin/1-yoda-card-force.html